Birthday Treats for You!

It's not my birthday, but it's someone's, right? This is a fairly exhaustive list of free things you can get (in the U.S. only, sorry, my international friends) on your birthday. Check it out!

(Via BargainBabe.)

Exciting announcement coming!

Soon, very soon, I'll have some news to share with you. I'm thrilled about it!
Watch this space! And I hope you've had a fantastic weekend...

Master of the house, keeper of the zoo

I think that, possibly, it makes me a little bit sad that, after the boy puts on a Santa hat and says, "Who am I? Who am I? WHO AM I?" and I belt out, operatically, "I'M JEAN VALJEEEEAAAAAAAAAN!" (complete with hand motions), neither the boy nor his father so much as blink.

Sad? Or smug? I'm not quite sure, to be honest.

Lunchtime Gratitude

1. Good friends who take you as you are, hold your hand and help you be a better person.

2. My mom's beef and vegetable soup, the elixir to cure what ails you. Bonus: perfectly-cooked corn on the cob bits that explode on impact.

3. It's so cold outside, and I am so safe and warm inside.

4. The excellent hummus we get on a near-weekly basis, made locally in small batches and amazing flavors (like curry!).

5. My BFF comes home tomorrow, for three weeks!

6. Luke, last night, after we'd decorated our wee potted pine tree, throwing his arms in the air and squealing, Mama! It's CHRISTMAS in here!

7. Sitting at the table at 6 a.m. today, just H and me and our cups of coffee, talking and laughing until the tears streamed down my face.

Blessed beyond measure, and don't I know it.

What are you grateful for?

And a pinch to grow an inch

I've just posted a new letter over at my other blog, Dear Luke: Letters to Read When You're Older.

Happy weekend, everybody! And if you're in Southern California and haven't yet heard, it is going to be C-O-L-D for the next few weeks... bundle up!

Mirror world

It becomes easy, after a time, to imagine that you are neither complicated nor messy; that your own little unit of human currency is clean, crisp and unfussy. You know your own system; your language is reasonable; your habits pristine. But numbers easily prove you wrong; add more people to the mix and you quickly realize that, out of context, your lines blur. You become aware of how often your demands, the silent ones, veer off into childishness. Your inflexibility, intolerance and snobbery dance around you gleefully, unbridled.

Pushing past your ugliness, you force yourself to forge a new path. For what other choice exists? You have so far to go.

So I'm sittin' in my room...

It was high time, lovies, and so I've gone and signed up for the Apartment Therapy Home Cure. I didn't expect to feel absurdly frightened, but that's where I find myself. As I posted to their forum: home matters so much to me, and somehow things have gotten woefully out of hand around here... I fear that the only answers I'm going to find will be along the lines of, "YOU HAVE FAILED!" and "YOU NEED A LOT MORE MONEY THAN YOU HAVE!" (which, somewhat coincidentally, is next to none.) In any case, to help get myself over this all-encompassing sense of doom I'm experiencing, I'll be sharing the process with you.

Here, then, are the answers to the quiz.

Favorites
Actress: Juliette Binoche, Cate Blanchett, Claudette Colbert
Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, Hugh Laurie, Clark Gable
Artist: Edward Hopper
Writer: William Gibson, CS Lewis
Music: Neil Finn, Nick Cave, Mozart, Beethoven, Traditional (Mexican/Irish/Scottish/Spanish/Middle Eastern)
Restaurant: Havana Mania (Cuban), Seaside Palace (Persian)
Automobile: Black Lexus IS
Television Shows: House, The Office (BBC), Extras
Clothing (Store/Designer): Anthropologie (not that I can actually afford to shop there, mind you... it's a relationship based on appearances.)

Style (i.e., describe the style of my home in three words):
1. Eclectic
2. Warm
3. Well-traveled

Personal History (i.e., my cities!)
Born: Torrance, CA
Grew up: All over the South Bay
As an adult: Harbor City, Long Beach, West Los Angeles, Torrance, San Pedro

Role Model
My mom, my friend Bob

Three adjectives to describe the qualities I admire in them:
1. Strong
2. Kind
3. Committed

[Condo]
What is the problem with your [condo]?
1. Messy
2. Run-down
3. Disorganized

If your [condo] could speak, what would it say is the problem?
"Emma has enough things to fill a couple of people's lives--more than her own life needs! Also, pay attention to me, huh? I'm not a storage facility!"

What one thing would you like to do more of in your [condo]?
Projects! Sewing, knitting, collaging, cooking... Also, relaxing, knowing everything is in its place.

Eight weeks from now, if friend came to visit, how would you like them to describe your home? (3 words)
1. Inviting
2. Interesting
3. Smart

Onward ho, friends. *sigh*

Even if time is just a flicker of light

Train madness aside, what a glorious weekend! Cousins, aunts, uncles I hadn't seen in 15 years; children I'd never met! I wish H had been able to come along with us, but never mind--next time. It's hit me all at once, the realization that family really is important, really does matter. We didn't have much family around while my brother and I were growing up, contact with either side was sporadic. These days it seems as though everyone is suddenly making an effort to behave more like family, or maybe it just seems that way now because it matters to me. Whatever the case, there is something to be said for the people who knew you when you were whatever you used to be, the people who will take you in, no questions asked, or lots of nosy questions asked (whatever their style), who have to love you, who have to deal with you, and vice versa. I realize not all families are this way--some are better and some are worse--but for the first time in my life I feel as though I truly have a lifeline that extends beyond my immediate circle. I feel like I have People now, you know. It is pretty great. I wish that for you, too.

I am prepared for anything.

Reaching into my purse this morning at work revealed the following bonus items:

* A diaper featuring Sesame Street characters

* A miniature flatbed truck

* A massive wad of napkins from The Coffee Bean

Bring it. I'm ready.

The best of comestibles and potables

1. Tim Tams. Obviously.
2. Hendrick's Gin. Strong without hurting you, flowery and bright in a way that I find delightful (and I generally find "flowery" off-putting). I feel like it is the drinkable version of the type of personality I hope to one day have. If that sounds stupid, just find yourself a bottle. You'll see what I mean. Unless you are my husband, who says it is like drinking perfume. BUT THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT, BECAUSE I HATE PERFUME.
3. MarieBelle hot chocolate.
4. Wet by Beefeater (gin, for you non-alkies). Smoother and more sophisticated than the Hendrick's. Perhaps a friend or cousin of the Hendrick's, if you see what I mean.
5. Green and Black's. Before having tasted this, I believed I knew what chocolate was. I WAS WRONG.
6. The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf's chai latté. All others are a waste of steam.
7. Tazo decaffeinated chai.
8. Sharon's Sorbet in Coconut. Really, sorbet? This isn't ice cream? I had to read the label a few times to be sure.

Treinta y tres

When I got to work this morning, my desk was covered with crepe paper and flowers.
And this was hanging from one of the streamers.

Thirty-three today. I'm not one of those women who acts offended when the topic of age is brought up. I've earned my years, and I'm happy to keep advancing.

Things Without Which My Quality of Life Declines*

How embarrassing, most of this is very Trader Joe's-centric. They are not paying me, I assure you!

- Almond milk. Dairy gives me a headache, and cow's milk contains enough sugar that I need to take insulin when I drink it. The taste of soymilk grosses me out, and it usually requires insulin as well. Almond milk has a consistency similar to that of cow's milk, tastes delicious, and the variety I buy (unsweetened vanilla flavor) contains so few carbohydrates that I don't need to take any extra insulin with it. Cheapest (of course) at Trader Joe's.

- NeilMed nasal rinse. No, really. I have constant sinus problems and lots of headaches. This little squirt bottle with its packet of salty powder combines with warm water to provide immediate, long-lasting relief. I'll admit to feeling oddly humiliated the first time I bought it. It seemed sort of archaic or barbaric or something, buying some device with which to shoot saltwater up one's nose. Like, next I'd be sticking leeches to myself. Well, half an hour later, when I could see again, focus on my work and participate in human conversation, I got over the weirdness. (Yes, it's the same concept as a neti pot, but I'm told the stronger pressure of the squeeze bottle provides better results.)

- Trader Joe's Mango Honey Shaving Lotion. Leaves your skin smooth and happy, smells wonderful. Best $3.99 (!!) I've ever spent, y'all.

- Trail mix. Rather than buy it pre-made, I buy the individual components and throw them all in a big jar. This makes for better variety, not to mention it's more economical.

- Almond butter. Raw is sweeter and has a better texture, but roasted is great as well. Cheapest at Trader Joe's. It goes in my cereal, on toast, and sometimes directly to my mouth with a spoon.

- Speaking of cereal: Cereal. Appropriate for any meal and/or snack. I like cereal a whole lot. Truthfully, I feel a bit insecure without cereal (and milk, naturally) in the house. No, really. Makes me a little panicky. WHAT IF WE STARVE TO DEATH?

- My SIGG water bottle (I have the one listed as #2). I know, right? How very Los Angeles. But this thing is excellent at keeping drinks cold, its screwtop ensures zero spillage, it can be attached to a backpack, it holds a really decent amount of water, it means fewer plastic bottles floating around, and it does not make the water taste weird the way so many bottles do. Each of us has one; they have toddler-sized ones with cute toddler designs on them.

- Baking soda. Keeps the fridge smelling clean when H. goes on one of his kimchi-purchasing binges. Keeps the freezer smelling clean when H. goes on one of his fishing trips. Poured down a cloggy drain and chased with boiling water, it gets the ancient plumbing clear. Mixed with water into a paste, it makes a mask that leaves your skin soft and clean. Mixed with a bit of water and a squeeze of lemon juice, it makes a stomacheache better. Oh, and if you run out of toothpaste, just wet your brush and sprinkle a decent amount onto the bristles. Magic.

- Redken Water Wax. I have lots and lots of baby-fine hair with a crazy amount of volume and wave. (Not curls, mind you. Because that would make things easier.) On the one hand, it will hold a style pretty well. On the other hand, unless cut very, very, very short, it requires a LOT of work. (In fact, I didn't put my blowdryer and flat iron on this list just because it makes me seem like a bigger jerk [oops], but the truth is I do not leave the house without having at least blown my hair dry.) Anyway, I've tried many, many pomades, waxes, gels, sprays, etc., and this wax is all I need. It makes my hair all rumply-defined-cool, it smells great and the tub lasts a long time.

- Trader Joe's Kitchen Cloths. Wait, let me explain. They're kind of like chamois cloths for the kitchen. They absorb roughly eighteen trillion times their weight. They clean up everything nearly instantly. They're kind of a dream when you've got a toddler who regularly creates various and sundry messes around the house. My only beef with them: the really appallingly bad colors. But after using adorable-yet-nearly-totally-non-absorbent kitchen towels for years, I can forgive that.

- The Uniball 207. So smooth, so black. Writing with this pen is a lovely experience. I am so serious.

*Excluding the obvious: coffee, insulin... like that.(...she wrote, with a pervasive sense of Western capitalistic guilt.)

But if you try sometimes, you just might find...

Mind you, I wasn't expecting a five-star stay. We'd booked a motel, after all, for one night, just an hour or so out of town. A city by the sea to which we'd never been, kind of just a lark, really, the man and the boy and myself. The room was small, but the price was right. The room smelled a bit funky and the other guests looked like they'd had better days. I want to go home! said Luke. I did too, though I didn't say so. Not then.

We rested a bit, decided on dinner plans, walked out to the main strip. The city advertised itself as a great family place, a less-pricey Santa Barbara. That sold us-- that and the cheerful website chock-a-block with fun, wholesome, family activities. But as we walked through town it quickly became apparent that we stuck out like three sore thumbs. Three sore, sober, home-having thumbs. About eighty percent of the population, at least this afternoon, consisted of meth addicts, stoners, homeless people, mentally unstable people, and/or some combination thereof. Every park we passed had at least five of these people sleeping/smoking/living/talking to unseen friends in it. It was like Santa Monica[note: incendiary article there], without the other 80% of the population.

It was like being in a zombie movie*, is what it was like. Which may have been slightly hilarious at an earlier point in our lives, but is markedly less so when vacations are few and far between, and the gorgeous crux of our very existence is less than three feet tall and wants to smile and say hello to everyone in the world, everyone. It was disturbing and gross and I just wanted to go home.

And so we did. We walked back to the place that was to have been our lodging for the night (being careful to walk around the man in his forties and a much younger man, perhaps his son, who appeared to have a mild version of Downs syndrome and who, along with the older man, was lying in the middle of the sidewalk next to the crosswalk). I told the nice woman at the counter that we'd been called back home unexpectedly and was there any way she could cut us a break on the room rate? She called her manager and voided the transaction entirely. We packed the car back up and got back on the road, heading south. Heading home.

*Adding to the weirdness: about a quarter of the otherworldly citizens of this fair shire were pushing wheeled wire baskets around town... empty wheeled wire baskets.

Resolutions

Borrowing heavily* from Gretchen's list of resolutions (which she kindly provided a mere few hours after I emailed my request), I would like to share my own list of resolutions for June.


I really recommend her site--loads of great information, in an easy-to-read-and-absorb manner.

Is there anything you're wanting to do differently? Care to join me? Leave a comment!

*And by "borrowing heavily" I mean "I kind of just took a sampling of her ideas and re-arranged them on the blank chart she thoughtfully provided along with her list."

You are inside my heart.

Luke and I went to the Botanic Gardens yesterday. We didn't make it much further than the completely magical children's garden, but I suspect he could have stayed just in that spot all day. (I would have really enjoyed that myself, to be honest.)

Tips from a master

Bruce Lee's Top 7 Fundamentals for Getting Your Life in Shape is an excellent article. My favorite quote: "It's not the daily increase but the daily decrease."

On Positivity Blog.

Give it a whirl

Necessities.


Valentines, made from this lovely lady's download, for the ladies in the office.


What happens when the iPod you won at some compulsory-fun-based (read: work) event and then gave to your husband, somehow slips off the driver's seat just as the car door is slamming shut. Ah, Swiss engineering. Well, hey. It could have been a finger, I suppose.

Listen here: some things were meant to be

Eight years later, we are not without ups and downs (we weren't in this photo, for that matter). Neither are we without love, without joy, without fascination, without steadfast certainty that we belong together.

Happy Anniversary, Mister H.

Snapshot

I collect aprons. I keep bits of ribbon and tissue paper that I think is pretty, and little boxes from things that might be nice for making things out of. I have a million knitting projects that are unfinished and more that are unstarted. I am trying like the Dickens to get my home and myself organized. Organization does not come naturally to me. I'm buying organic and local as often as possible. I've recently stopped eating beef because it feels like lead in my belly all of a sudden. I have very little dairy. For the first time in my life I am able to completely forget about work when I come home. One is my real life; the other is not. I've always had several journals at once. This probably explains why I've changed online journals so often. Some ideas deserve a fresh start, unsullied by the past. I can't seem to be able to drink much anymore; one beer or one glass of wine or one gin and tonic, and the next day I feel it. Oh, do I feel it. It's a bit ridiculous. After feeling incredibly ugly and rather disgusting for the better part of a year, I'm starting to come round again, I think, and feel okay about myself. I never thought having a baby would provoke that in me. Ever. I like to stir the pot but these days I'm quite a bit kinder about it and, I'd like to think, more careful about it. I have terrible posture, brought on by pregnancy and then accentuated by carrying wee Luke, who has the densest bones ever in the history of bones -- how else to explain how heavy he is? I love writing letters and having pen pals. I love hot coffee. I love traveling and chocolate and laughing until the tears come. I'm exuberant but secretly shy.

Real Gone

Be the change you want to see in the world. A bit ambitious, eh? Motherhood has flipped a switch for me. I'm tired much of the time, yes, but also less willing to suffer fools and their foolishness. I used to roll my eyes at hearing women talk about how revolutionizing motherhood is -- but they were right. Are you rolling your eyes now? That's okay. This isn't a blog about motherhood. Not that there's anything wrong with blogs about motherhood... why some of my best friends are blogs about motherhood. I'm just not very good at sticking to one topic. So what you'll find here will be a blog that focuses on making the world a better place and the stumbling blocks along the way, on music, on art, on film, on politics, on living more simply, on loving my neighbor as myself, on raising a good, decent human being, on being content and recognizing the beauty and joy in this crazy upside-down world. Not much else matters, in my book.