Six Weird Things

Possum said to do it. I did not argue.
(And believe it, narrowing this down to six was hard.)

1. I prefer chiles rellenos cold. Most people think this is gross. But the truth is, eating them hot is gross. Now you know. (PS, it drives me insane to see or hear "chile rellenos." One chile is relleno. Two or more chiles are rellenos. Thank you.)

2. Every now and then, I can hear this weird absence of sound which signals that the phone's about to ring. The only other way I can phrase it is to say there's a shift in the silence [which has prompted at least one person to ask me if I was sure I've never done hard drugs -- yes, I'm sure] and then the phone rings.I haven't been able to hear it in years, but for awhile it happened with some regularity.

3. I wear an insulin pump which is programmed to dispense fast-acting insulin several times an hour via a very small plastic tube which is inserting under the skin of my abdomen via a long needle, which is then removed, leaving just soft plastic sticking into me. On the other end of the tube is a syringe, sans needle, into which the insulin is loaded. When the syringe runs out of insulin, approximately every three days, I grab new tubing, load up a new syringe, and start all over again.

4. When putting groceries on the checkstand conveyor belt, I feel very strongly that the items should be grouped in like categories: fruits and vegetables go together; all dairy and dairy-substitute products go together; cereal, bread and crackers all go together, and so on. Magazines can be paired with notions such as cotton balls, hair dye, toothpaste and so on. When I go shopping with my mother I offer to put things on the conveyor belt for her; otherwise I have to rearrange everything when she is finished.

5. When I was four, I had a mean, mean crush on Steve Martin. I thought he was sexy.

6. I have a distant relative who's really, really famous. I've never met him or anything. But I did see him once at the airport in Guadalajara.