A gentle reminder...

The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life’s plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. - Robert Louis Stevenson

(via SimpleMom)

So what.

This is something I cut out of the Los Angeles Times years and years ago. I don't even remember the name of the short-lived column it came from, let alone the author's name (if you do, will you let me know so I can give proper credit?). But I loved it, and still love it, and revisit it whenever I'm beginning to get too caught up in myself. Puts me right back down on the planet. I hope you like it, too.

Consider this. We humans eat till we flap, smoke, use ATMs at night, drive--fast and angry--with bald tires, bad brakes and a busted headlight, exercise nothing but our clicker thumbs, drink till it's up to strangers whether we get home, and far and away the biggest concern among readers is:

How can I not get hurt?

Most of us treat our bodies like rental cars, and yet we coddle our precious little feelings, the one part of us that won't break, die, run out or get cancer. (The way we treat others' feelings is a different story.) If we can run on five hours' sleep and a Ho-Ho, we can certainly handle "I'm sorry, I don't like you that way." Or, "You're not a strong candidate for this job." Or, "Your face could scald milk." Or, "There's a thin envelope here from Yale."

But no, we retreat into our ruts like they're trenches. I'll give you an example. I'll bet everybody knows at least one smart kid who doesn't study, who pretends he doesn't need to. If he dogs it and fails, he's a lazy cool smart guy; if he tries and fails, he's suddenly not so smart. Beat failure! Don't learn!

Here's the reason to test our resilience every chance we get: The alternative is living passively, never actually deciding anything, wondering why we're irritable, average, bored, boring and a deep shade of yellow.

So don't reach down, reach up--for the bright and groovy guy, for the promotion, for the moon. Try to get that driveling essay published. Audition for everything. Apply to a hot college. Wipe out, look stupid, try again. A decade ago, my cousin-in-law decided to be a comedian, moved to New York and fed himself be doing every unbearable job out there. This year: Letterman and a Major Motion Picture. 1. Wow. 2. Why not? You can be told you're not smart, not attractive, not cool, not interesting, not good enough for the job, and then, sure, you can quit--but if instead you dismiss it, or learn from it, or move on to something else, pretty soon you'll start to walk like you can take it. Those confident, charismatic people everyone privately resents? Know what they are? Fearless. But you won't have any idea what that means unless you scrape the couch from your backside. The worst that can happen is "No." So what.

And remember...

That Big News

Happy MLK day, lovelies. This is such an exciting time! Despite myself I'm giddy with relief and joy and anticipation. It makes my cynicism nervous, but that's okay... cynicism can deal with it. It's time!

Also, a week from today, a new feature begins, right here. The Old Soul Ink Interview will ask the same five questions, all pertaining to minutiae, of a gorgeous cross-section of fascinating people. Some you'll undoubtedly recognize; others you'll be excited to meet, I think. There will be authors and painters, graphic artists and comic artists, renegades and rabble-rousers of every sort. Lots of people who defy categorization. They will inspire you, make you think and brighten up your Mondays (I know I can always use a bit of that!).

If there's anyone you'd like to recommend for the interview, do let me know! I'm always eager to meet new fantastic people.

Let's all hold hands now while the future changes hands.

If you need to get the funk out.

Declare amnesty for the part of you that you don't love very well. Forgive that poor sucker. Hold its hand and take it out to dinner and a movie. Tactfully offer it a chance to make amends for the dumb things it has done. And then do a dramatic reading of this proclamation by the playwright Theodore Rubin: "I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."

Taken from Frida sometime last year. Thanks, Frida.

Who you are vs. who you think you should be

My blog reader has gone all wonky again, which is great, because it showed me this post that Gretchen published back in September. I meant to address it then and life got in the way, so now I get that chance (mostly because I am home sick. Again.). In Gretchen's words, Here's a quiz, lightly adapted from The Creative Lawyer, to help you figure out your interests. Not what you WISH interested you, but what ACTUALLY interests you. I find myself sometimes thinking that I should enjoy certain things more, rather than just focusing on the things I do enjoy. This strikes me as completely absurd, and I would like to change it. So, then, this quiz.

1. What part of the newspaper do you read first? The L.A. Times used to call it the Living section; I suppose the human-interest section is what I always flip to first.

2. What are three books you've read in the past year? Invisible Cities, Twilight and The Host.

3. As a child, what did you do in your free time? Read; make collages, greeting cards, doll clothes, doll houses, other crafty things; listen to music and memorize my favorite songs, scouring liner notes for information on the artists. (Hmm. Essentially all the same fun/obsessive things I do now.)

4. What's a goal that has been on your list for a few years? Move to New Zealand.

5. What do you actually do with your free time? Daydream; doodle; visit websites for visual/creative inspiration; read; knit; sleep.

6. What types of activities energize you? Talking to people; being out in nature; traveling; reading magazines -- I guess any activity in which I can take in a lot of interesting information.

7. What famous people intrigue you? Nick Cave, Neil Finn, Ernest Shackleton, Judi Dench. I suppose the common threads are fearlessness and longevity -- both of which owe a debt to being able to look failure in the face and get on with it.

Looking over the answers, there's a lot for me to think about.
What about you? What actually interests you, and how is it different from what you think should interest you?

Things I need to remember

We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes.

Via Walk Slowly, Live Wildly.

On courage

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. - Dorothy Thompson

I need an extra boost of courage this morning and thought that perhaps you might benefit as well. (Incidentally, if you've never heard of Dorothy Thompson--as I hadn't--check her out here. So far what most impresses me about her is this: ...she socked a woman who made pro-Nazi remarks in her presence — after asking her to step outside.)

From The Screwtape Letters

"We must picture Hell as a state where everyone is perpetually concerned about his own dignity and advancement, where everyone has a grievance, and where everyone lives the deadly serious passions of envy, self-importance, and resentment."

-CS Lewis

Independence

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.

Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

~Mother Teresa

FAVORITE QUOTES

"She rises while it is still dark..."
Proverbs 31:15

"Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.”
Simone Weil

"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind."
Henry James

"If I had not some strength of will I would make a first-class drunkard."
Ernest Shackleton

”When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear."
Gandhi

"The same dream returned each night until I dared not to go to sleep and grew quite ill. I dreamed I had a child, and even in the dream I saw it was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away. But it always crept onto my lap again, clutched at my clothes. Until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever in it was my own, perhaps I could sleep. And I bent to its broken face, and it was horrible . . . but I kissed it. I think one must finally take one's life in one's arms."
Arthur Miller

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Good things

- Luke laughing hysterically at my silly games and jokes (he really thinks I'm funny! This is the best gig ever!).

- Caring for my mom's garden while she's away: the smell of the damp earth and mint plants; the gorgeous Spring blossoms on the apple, guava, lemon and bergamot trees; the feel of wet grass under my feet; the time taken to consider how much water each plant needs, according to size and position in the garden and so on; the feel of the wind on my skin and the peaceful silence.

- The recurring thought that, very soon, I'll have a job that a) I enjoy and b) I am good at.

- I have the most extraordinarily kind and caring people in my life; it really blows my mind.

- This whole song-recording business is terribly addictive. My head is spinning with ideas. Oh, for more hours in the day!

Grateful

Lovely Things Today:

1. The small bunch of bright yellow daffodils in the purple coffee cup on my desk. When I bought them yesterday only three or so were open; within hours they all opened and they look like they're jumping for sheer joy.

2. There Will Be Date Night. Tonight. We're going to this show, and the boy is staying overnight at his grandma's house, and we'll be out and dressed up and have drinks and OH I can't stand it!

3. This line from Jon Stewart's book AMERICA (THE BOOK): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction: The National pastimes of Latin America are fútbol and irrational emotion.

4. The sound of Luke singing to himself in the backseat this morning.

5. Good people, good jokes, good family, a good life. I'm so grateful!

Who knows, one day I'll dive into the sea

Something really excellent has happened (she types, cautiously).
It is something which does not seem, maybe, as big a deal as it is proving to be. It's surprised me; it has grown roots and run along every pathway in my life, spreading joy and relief and, more than anything, a very deep sense that, finally, I have arrived to the place I've been climing toward for so long.

Oh, it's not going to be anything deeply spiritual and it isn't any great wisdom I've gleaned; on the flip side, I have also not won the lottery. It's just this: I received a job offer yesterday that I've been hoping for. It's within the same organization where I've been employed for the last year and some change, but it's a different position; one I've wanted for so very long.

It's difficult, sometimes, to switch tracks, once you've begun and made some headway. And of course there are all sorts of variables that contribute to one's thinking that switching is foolish, that one does not have what it takes, that one is fated to swim upstream, making a living at something one can fake but which requires so much work and so much internal pep-talking that at some point it's all just ridiculous. But as the adage goes, better the devil you know.

I've loved words all my life. Music runs a close second, but words and their accoutrements are a great passion. Because of choices I made--and mind you, this isn't regret you're reading, just fact-- words have trailed far behind my duties and daily focus. Which has, I've only lately realized, taken a toll. But now they will be front and center. When I am asked what I do (which of course is often, given that we live in Los Angeles) I now get to deliver an answer that would make my 12-year-old self proud. Which is pretty great.

And now I'll retreat. This kind of happiness makes me a little nervous.

Somebody said they saw me swinging the world by the tail

Heading out toward the gym last night, I was struck again by the relative silence of my complex. It's a deep quiet, just a hit of it, nestled into the center of the mild, suburban noise. A heart of stillness, and the rustle of trees--pine, mostly. A magic cupboard waiting in the corner of the room. It feeds my soul, this silence, makes my breath deeper and more effective. Reminds me of who I am and why I am here. As I walk I'm reminded of the yearly trips to my father's hometown (that's the cover of the book he wrote about his town). Green, cobblestoned, high on a plain in the middle of nowhere. The silence was something to get used to during those first couple of days into our vacations. It buzzed in my ears at night, nearly as noisy as the 405 in its own right. The mosquitoes that would devour my arms and legs buzzed loudly, but compared to the silence they were a birthday candle in a vast underground cavern. By the second night I'd be more or less acclimated. The stillness became a warm, inviting shape rather than a crevasse waiting for me to stumble. Peace, after all.

I wait. One of these days it will become the rule, rather than the exception.

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.

- Elie Wiesel

You, who've been traveling so long

I ran across this quote today and found it wonderful. I hope you will like it.

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"

-Mary Anne Radmacher.

Start again, I heard them sing

When the noise is gone, when the need and even the desire for the noise is gone, the silence can be mind-bending.
Unsettling, too -- even if admitting that stings a bit.
But more than anything, it's delicious.

Have you ever felt -- and I mean that quite literally: felt -- your life turning a corner?

The last few years have required constant faith. Walking in darkness, with blinders on, no idea of what else was headed in my direction.

When I lacked faith, I plodded along anyway. Stripped down to essentials. Show up. Do your best. Eat. Sleep. Soaring was out of the question.

It became a distant memory. I longed for it. I became angry, then sad, then I gave in and thought that perhaps I was through with soaring.

Perhaps I'd used up my quota (I've done a lot of soaring).

But I haven't. I'm being reminded every place I look that my season to soar has begun again.

It's being carried in on the newly-cool Autumn breezes, the message, being whispered everywhere I turn: it's time.

Shedding the old, stepping out in the new.

It's amazing, it really is.

I wish for you today something as wonderful and as real.