Surprising things I've heard recently:
1) That Mr. Bush "has not heard" any rumors of a recession. Huh.*
2) That Mrs. Clinton "loves all of us" and that we are all one big wonderful family in her heart.* [Obviously fallacious, as one must first be in possession of said heart before keeping anything in it. Perhaps the speaker--an enthusiastic woman from San Antonio--meant that Hillary would like to cram us all into the hollow place in her chest where most people have hearts, thereby ensuring world domination? One can only speculate...]
And, on the opposite end of the spectrum:
3) "You're such a nice guy, Mommy."** Thank you, son. I try. You sure make me feel like a nice guy.
4) "You're such a good boy, Mommy."*** Ah, son.
* Heard on NPR
** Heard yesterday evening on the stairs, as I tied his shoe.
*** Heard this evening, while we prepared for his bath.