Sunday, August 20, 2006
I collect aprons. I keep bits of ribbon and tissue paper that I think is pretty, and little boxes from things that might be nice for making things out of. I have a million knitting projects that are unfinished and more that are unstarted. I am trying like the Dickens to get my home and myself organized. Organization does not come naturally to me. I'm buying organic and local as often as possible. I've recently stopped eating beef because it feels like lead in my belly all of a sudden. I have very little dairy. For the first time in my life I am able to completely forget about work when I come home. One is my real life; the other is not. I've always had several journals at once. This probably explains why I've changed online journals so often. Some ideas deserve a fresh start, unsullied by the past. I can't seem to be able to drink much anymore; one beer or one glass of wine or one gin and tonic, and the next day I feel it. Oh, do I feel it. It's a bit ridiculous. After feeling incredibly ugly and rather disgusting for the better part of a year, I'm starting to come round again, I think, and feel okay about myself. I never thought having a baby would provoke that in me. Ever. I like to stir the pot but these days I'm quite a bit kinder about it and, I'd like to think, more careful about it. I have terrible posture, brought on by pregnancy and then accentuated by carrying wee Luke, who has the densest bones ever in the history of bones -- how else to explain how heavy he is? I love writing letters and having pen pals. I love hot coffee. I love traveling and chocolate and laughing until the tears come. I'm exuberant but secretly shy.