Saturday, March 08, 2008

Who knows, one day I'll dive into the sea

Something really excellent has happened (she types, cautiously).
It is something which does not seem, maybe, as big a deal as it is proving to be. It's surprised me; it has grown roots and run along every pathway in my life, spreading joy and relief and, more than anything, a very deep sense that, finally, I have arrived to the place I've been climing toward for so long.

Oh, it's not going to be anything deeply spiritual and it isn't any great wisdom I've gleaned; on the flip side, I have also not won the lottery. It's just this: I received a job offer yesterday that I've been hoping for. It's within the same organization where I've been employed for the last year and some change, but it's a different position; one I've wanted for so very long.

It's difficult, sometimes, to switch tracks, once you've begun and made some headway. And of course there are all sorts of variables that contribute to one's thinking that switching is foolish, that one does not have what it takes, that one is fated to swim upstream, making a living at something one can fake but which requires so much work and so much internal pep-talking that at some point it's all just ridiculous. But as the adage goes, better the devil you know.

I've loved words all my life. Music runs a close second, but words and their accoutrements are a great passion. Because of choices I made--and mind you, this isn't regret you're reading, just fact-- words have trailed far behind my duties and daily focus. Which has, I've only lately realized, taken a toll. But now they will be front and center. When I am asked what I do (which of course is often, given that we live in Los Angeles) I now get to deliver an answer that would make my 12-year-old self proud. Which is pretty great.

And now I'll retreat. This kind of happiness makes me a little nervous.


Anne-Marie said...

Yay for the job offer! Yay for words! [I love words too.] Congratulations Emma, hope all goes well with the new job. [You have accepted the job offer, haven't you?]

Emma said...

Thanks, Anne-Marie! I haven't accepted, technically, but since I approached them with the idea and met the requirements they set up, it's pretty much a given that I will. :) I'm loving reading about your own daily word-related adventures.